Doesn't Anybody Get it Right?! Carrie! Carrie!

Like most people who have any credibility when it comes to talking about musical theater, you should all know about Carrie, the notorious 1988 flop musical that was one of the biggest disasters of all time. Don't know about it? Read here, and watch this. Back? Okay, now to the good stuff.

The show centers around Carrie White, an outcast with an extremely religious mother, who has not really experienced the ways of life. After gym class one morning, whoops she has her period in the shower. Carrie starts freaking out and thinks she's dying, while the other girls throw tampons and maxi pads at her. Cue the gym teacher Ms. Gardner coming to her rescue and excusing her for the rest of the day. It's nice to see that some things never change, teen girls are bitches. Then we meet (well meet her as more than a spotlighted interview) Sue Snell, and guess what? She's a human and she has remorse! Aww she feels bad for making fun of Carrie and playing pin the tampon on the bloody towel along with the rest of the girls. So she's like "How can I apologize without being a total bitch."

Carrie goes home and we meet her crazy ass mom, who is like "Ut oh, Carrie, you're a woman now! You know what that means, I have to make sure no one taints you like they tainted me, so let's pray out your period girl!" Oh she also locks Carrie in a closet for having her period and then Carrie is all like "Look at me, I just discovered I have mind powers! What, watch me make this Jesus statue float!"

The next day, Ms. Gardner makes all the girls apologize for throwing tamps and pads at Carrie when she was bleeding all over herself. And one girl Chris, who is a bitch, is like "Hey Carrie, Eat Shit!" And guess what happens!?! Guess! Well fine, Chris doesn't get to go to the prom with her gayish boyfriend, she's banned, and instead of taking it out on Ms. Garnder, she's like "Carrie it's your fault!" (it's totes not, it's Ms. Garnder's fault, she's the one who banned you from the prom!) and Chris is going to get back at Carrie if it's the last thing she does (spoiler, it is!).

While all this nonsense is going on, Sue is like "Hey Tommy, my boyfriend, want to do me a solid? You do? Okay, well take Carrie to Prom! It will change her life forever! She deserves something nice!" So Tommy, like any teen boy looking to get a handful of boob and or the promise of sex is like "Alright! Fine!"

Cut to Prom night, Carrie's mom is like "Oh noes, Carrie is going to get pregnant! So I better kill her!" Carrie is like "Mom I still love you, but guess what?! I have magic powers, so you know, you can't stop me from murdering a bunch of HS students, I mean, go to prom!" So Carrie makes Tommy wait for a ridiculously long time at the door, and then they head off to prom together!

At the prom, remember when Chris was like "Carrie WHITE! GRRRR!" like Captain Kirk yelling "KHAAANNNNN!" Well she's hung a bucket of pig's blood over the stage and rigged the prom king and queen election so that Carrie wins. So guess what!?! Carrie and Tommy win prom king and queen, and pig's blood rains down on her! Dun Dun Dun! So Carrie kills everyone at the prom! Even the teachers! Sorry Ms. Gardner, it's your fault too!

Carrie comes home soaked in blood, her mom stabs her, she kills her mom, then she dies in Sue's arms! Awwwwww the end!

Okay, so the production was on a very minimal set, from the looks of it, much better than the stark white weirdness of the 1988 production. They also seemed to have toned down the campy aspects of the book, and tried to focus it more on exploring the humanity of the characters rather than making everyone a caricature of a HS student. Though I don't think this show can ever be as thoughtful as something like Spring Awakening.

The stark multilevel set, which was enhanced with projections as opposed to set pieces, was simple and effective. It was most effective in the last 20 minutes of the show when Carrie goes on her rampage, with lighting used to stimulate the blood drenching as opposed to actually having her being doused in blood (although that would have been amazing albeit a pain to clean up).

The cast, the cast, the cast! Molly Ranson was every bit as compelling and demure as Sissy Spacek in the original film version. The venerability and sensitivity that she brought to the role led the audience to cheer (if not audibly) for her when she murdered everyone at the prom. Hopefully this show gets recorded so people can hear her amazing interpretation of the score.

Marin Mazzie as Margaret White, Carrie's domineering mother was a revelation. The role could be easily overdone if not in the right hands, but Mazzie's interpretation was so spot on, that I wouldn't want to meet her in a dark alley for fear she would stab me to death.

Christy Altomare as Sue Snell, the well meaning, yet misguided classmate brought a tenderness and eagerness to the role. Her voice was amazing and she made what could have been an overplayed character into a likable heroine.

The rest of the chorus and cast including import Jeanna de Waal as the villainous Chris and Ben Thompson as her boyfriend Billy seemed to be playing to the obvious versions of the villains in the show and not exploring them more making them three dimensional. Derek Klena as Sue's boyfriend Tommy was cute and charming as the ill-fated suitor who accompanies Carrie to prom, and as gym teacher Ms. Gardner, Carmen Cusack brought a sensitivity and great chops to the part, making me wish they would have utilized her more in the show.

Overall the show was good. I would like to watch the original production to see how far they have come. It seems that this production could still use a bit of tweaking but overall it was an enjoyable theater experience.

Carrie the Musical 3 out of 4 stars

Carrie is currently playing at the Lucille Lortel Theatre through April 22, 2012

121 Christopher Street

New York, NY 10014

For Tickets Click Here

Love Never Dies, But Someone Does!

After witnessing The Phantom of The Opera live an in person, I decided that I needed to see the sequel since you know who likes a tale of murder and rape love more than me? So finding myself without enough money in my bank account to travel to Sydney to see the production of Love Never Dies live and in the flesh, I was delighted to see that there would be a Fathom events production of the show broadcast for two shows only. So myself along with friend and fellow theater blogger/vlogger, we set off to see the spectacle that is as Andrew Lloyd Webber put it "my most complex and beautiful work."

So the show starts out 10 years after the original with the Phantom alone on stage singing a song about how Christine ruined him for forever, and that no song he ever writes will ever be the same again, unless she sings it. Alright, alright, calm down Phantom your music is too complex and no one understands it, and I doubt the beautiful singing of Christine can salvage it. We soon learn that the Phantom is loaded, like dolla dolla bills y'all loaded. He owns a vaudeville freak show in Coney Island (yes there is a little person in the cast, who is more or less used as a human prop), and guess who the star of his show is! You'll never guess, okay I'll tell you, Meg Giriy! Remember her? The girl who holds up the mask at the end of the first one? Well she grew up, and aged 20 years (or 30), and she's a singer now, hoping for her big break, will she get it? Who knows!

After Meg does her weird dance/song thing, we learn that Christine and Raoul are coming to America (oh PS Christine is a mega star now! Like huge, everyone knows her), to sing at the opening of a new opera in NYC, but wait! The Phantom tricks her into performing at his vaudeville show instead. Oh and guess what? Christine now has a German son named Gustav, and guess what, he's musically gifted! Could it be? Could it? Is it The Phantom's son?! Anyway, Raoul lost all his money and Christine is all like "don't worry baby, with my skills I'll take care of you!"

Then came one of the most head scratching moments of all, a weird love duet between the Phantom and Christine. My impression in the first show, is that Christine was mesmerized by the Phantom, she was not in love with him, he used his power over her to manipulate her, and eventually raping her, he raped her remember? Do you, cos he did. Anyway, in this new show, Christine is actually madly in love with the Phantom and willing copulated with him. Uh alright, that's fine throw out major plot points, and make it a new story, okay.

So after the Phantom and Christine are all over each other, Raoul is like "I'm going to make a bet with the Phantom, about who Christine loves more." Yadda, yadda, yadda, long story short, Meg doesn't get her big break, Christine sings a weird song dressed as a peacock, and then bam someone gets shot. The end, I would describe more, but it's time to get to the critique.

Okay ALW, I get that you have some of the most successful musicals of all time, and you know what, it's okay to stop writing musicals, it really is. I promise. You've lost touch with reality, your ego has gotten so large that you think you can do no wrong, but you have, oh you have.

The score sounds like all the throw-away songs from other musicals, the overproduced scores that you are known for, it's a mess. And Glenn Slater, your lyrics are lazy, like you weren't even trying, you gave everyone expected rhymes and cheesy lyrics. I cannot fault the performers since they went above and beyond the material and elevated it to something (albeit a bad something, in less capable hands, the show would have been an even bigger mess).

Your characters, all your characters did a 180 from the original production, Phantom is still crazy yes, but Raoul turned into a mean drunk, whereas before he was a loving person who fought viciously to protect his soon to be bride from a rapist and murderer. Christine turned into an idiot, in the original production she was sort of strong and stood up for herself, and was like "Uh Phantom you raped me but I forgive you, you are a victim of circumstance, but you're still bad, so no we're not bf/gf." Meg turned from innocent dancer into a weird crazy bitch who was jealous of everyone and ends up killing someone! What?!

I don't recommend seeing this sequel. If you're a die hard Phantom fan you will probably be disappointed since the music and plot do not live up to the original.

The production probably will not come to NYC, so if you want to see it, you'll have to fly to Australia.

1 star out of 4

Phantom of the Opera . . . The Legend will Never Die

So after putting it off for 23 years, I finally hauled my ass over to the Majestic Theater to see the longest running Broadway musical of all time, The Phantom of the Opera. I can see why the show has been running for as long as it has, it's a convoluted story in which the audience is blinded by sparkles, flashes, and a slow moving chandelier.

The story: Christine Daaé is a young dancer in the core of the Paris Opera, who has secretly been taking voice lessons with Erik (although we never learn that that's his real name) aka the Phantom, and guess what? She gets a chance to show her chops when the Opera's leading lady Carlotta gets all freaked out when a piece of scenery drops unexpectedly. So Christine sings some song about thinking of her when a guy is off to war or something. During her cray-cray performance her old friend Raoul is there, and guess what? He's a millionaire who has decided to finance the Paris Opera! Whaaaaat?! Crazy!

Anyway, Raoul goes back to Christine's dressing room and is all like "Oh child you were great" then the Phantom is all, who is that trying to get my girl, so while Raoul goes to get his coat or something, the Phantom takes Christine to his lair, under the opera house. She passes out when she sees a wedding dress on a mannequin, and the Phantom is all like "Whoops, didn't mean to freak you out" so he plays the organ horribly and continues to compose his opera and everyone is looking for Christine.

Anyway, everyone gets notes from the Phantom about how respect and his salary must be paid, and then Carlotta is all "Oh hell no! This is my opera fool! I am the star, not Christine!" and then convinces everyone that this is a all a ploy to help Christine become a star.

Long story short, the Phantom kills a bunch of people, shows us his monster face, kidnaps Christine, tries to kill Raoul, then at the end vanishes. Look up the real plot if you're so inclined.

So the production, after having run for 23 years, it is not tired at all. The actors are all really into in. They are also all horrible singers, for the most part. The phrasing of certain notes is completely off and makes Lloyd Webber's score sound weird. I was impressed with the fact that these people some of whom have been doing the show since it opened are still giving it 100%.

The main thing I have a problem with was all the canned music, it was like half the music was canned and the other half was live? Makes no sense. They even managed to have one song that was fully prerecorded and Christine just lip synced the whole thing? Really? I did not pay money to go see a show where the cast lip-syncs! This is Broadway, sing live! That's the point!

All the acting was like community theater acting, you can't schmact the whole show like you're a recent college grad doing summer stock in Kansas. I wonder if the original cast played the show serious, it would have been a lot better if the whole cast was like "This is legit theater, let's all play it as real as possible."

I guess you can't fault the stage managers for instructing their new casts to play it big since most of the people in the audience do not speak English.

The special effects were also pretty crazy, I am sure in 1988 when Christine sat on her half-boat and floated in the lake under the opera house (side note, who builds an opera house on top of a lake!?!!!!), and the "crashing" chandelier (it didn't so much as crash as glide gently towards the stage) were awesome, but now they just seem tired and dated.

Overall the show was alright, I probably wouldn't go back unless someone totally amazing was playing the Phantom and they cast Britney Spears as Christine (since most her part is lip-synced anyway)

The Phantom of the Opera is currently playing an open-ended run at the Majestic Theater which is located on 245 W. 44th Street (btwn 7th and 8th Avenue) tickets may be purchased via Telecharge.