I Am Wal-Mart?

Walmartopia the new musical which made it's preimere at The New York Musical Theater Festival, has undergone a makeover and is now in an open-ended commercial run at off-Broadway's Minetta Lane Theater. I loved the concept of the musical, but there was something not quite right about the production. The songs were there as was the talent, but it seemed to drag on and on. I found myself looking at the program wanting to know what the next song was, not because I loved the score, which for the most part was passable, but because I was counting down the songs until both intermission, and the final bow.

Walmartopia is the story of a mother(Vicki) and daughter(Maia). A mother who works at Wal-Mart, and keeps getting passed up for promotions to her male counterparts, something that actually happens and Wal-Mart has been sued for. She is so grossly underpaid that she and her daughter, whom also happens to work at Wal-Mart for the summer, have to be on welfare and the state health insurance program because they cannot afford Wal-Mart's health insurance, oh yeah and did I mention they live in a hotel? When there are rumblings of a union organization starting to take place, Vicki not wanting to ruffle any feathers warns her daughter not to get involved. Vicki then goes to meet with her manager only to find out that she is being passed up once again by a younger male co-worker. Wah wah, such is the tragedy of her life, you'd think for as good of a worker as she is, she would be able to find a job somewhere at a Target, or even a Starbucks(where they pay your health insurance, and pay you more an hour). But no she submits herself to the torture of working at Wal-Mart. Vicki kind of reaching the point where she has had enough decides to join the union movement at her store.

The story gets even weirder when Vicky and Maia get picked to be in a paegent to represent the women of Wal-Mart, a PR move to focus their attention away from their impending sexual discrimination suit. *Yawn* Anyway, they have a chance to talk with the Wal-Mart Chairman of the Board, Mr. Smiley(clever I know), about forming a union at Wal-Mart. Then they see the head of Sam Walton which can talk and is attached to a moving wheelchair unit. Yep I just typed that, Sam Walton's head. They get thrown into the future to prevent them from talking. They arrive 35 years in the future where Wal-Mart is supreme ruler of the world, except for in Vermont which has declaired itself a historic preservation zone to prevent Wal-Mart from coming in to build.

Vicki and Maia both get thrown into Prison-Mart(very uncreative) and then meet a prisioner Zeb, who works for Wal-Arts(Yawn), which produces all forms of entertainment in Walmartopia. He convinces the artistic director to give them a job as actors in Wal-Arts' newest production, about support for the war in Vermont. Wah wah. Maia speaks out and gets thrown back into prison, and Vicki gets worried because she doesn't want to ruffle feathers again. Long story short, very short, Vicki gets over caring about not causing a stir and starts fighting for herself, she then speaks out against the evil voices in Walmartopia and leads people to follow their dreams, which shatters Wal-Marts hold on the them. Vicki and Maia stay in the future and lead a crusade against Wal-Marts worldwide. Yay for happy endings!

The score was good, but some songs needed to be cut. It was almost a contrast to the book of the musical because of the fact that all the songs were soulful and belty for the most part and I wanted something comic and light. I mean I liked the score as a stand-alone piece but not in relation to the musical. The book was full of lame jokes that missed more than they scored. The most I laughed all night was when Vicki messed up one of her lines during the lead-in for a song.

The performers talents were wasted on this show. It was lacking so much for something with so much potential. I guess this new commercial production did what most of us do growing up, we don't live up to our potential. I went in with high hopes but they were not upheld. Go see Walmartopia if you are mindless, but don't see it if you like being entertained. It does look like the official website is no longer up and running, so it leads me to believe that the show will be closing sooner than opposed to later.

Toledo Surprise . . .

I think in opting to see The Drowsy Chaperone as late as I did was a slight disadvantage to me. It was one of those shows that was on my "to see" list, but then other things came out that I wanted to see more, and well, I finally got around to seeing it, and after much fanfare and hooplah, I was severely disappointed.

For a show that has all the potential in the world with the right cast, can someone please tell me why the producers decided to cast Mari Davi as Janet Van De Graaf? She lacks a certain star quality that the role should posses. But I guess a lot of a show depends on it's performers. Where as some shows such as Les Miserables and Phantom of the Opera can run forever, changing casts more often than some people change their underwear, and it still manages to sell out, the same cannot be said for The Drowsy Chaperone; which seems to be on it's last legs.

Ms. Davi is not a terrible performer, but she is not suited as the leading lady of this show. She would have fared far better as a chorus girl. Some people are meant for bigger and better things than the chorus, others are not. Her Janet was well acted and sweetly sung, but there needed to be something more substantial there in order for the audience to relate to her and like her as a character. There were parts of the show that I knew were supposed to be funny, but unlike Sutton Foster, Ms. Davi lacks impeccable comic timing, which is required for the role.

But thankfully if you do end up making the mistake of seeing Drowsy, you can see Beth Leavel as The Drowsy Chaparone, the role that won her a much deserved Tony, and you'll be able to see Danny Burstein as Aldolpho. Both performers were standouts and made the evening enjoyable. Ms. Leavel's rousing anthem "As We Stumble Along" was the shows highlight. And Mr. Burstein's "I Am Aldolpho" was a comic masterpiece.

Jason and Garth Kravits as the Gangsters were amusing. As were Gerry Vichi and Jennifer Smith as Feldzig and Kitty.

The standout of the show had to be Patrick Wetzel whom as an understudy mastered the role of Man in Chair. I was glad that I got to see his performance as Man in Chair, because it was so genuine and made elements of the show that I didn't like more fun. I kind of wish he would go on every night. He was great and I hope to see him in more things in the future.

Jo Anne Worley was kind of disappointing as Mrs. Tottendale, a part that I don't like much, but was hoping for something great from Ms. Worley. I feel that she would have made a better Chaparone, because it seemed as though she was miscast.

Overall it was not a terrible production. but like so many that occupy the Marquis Theater, require star power. And that was something that this show was lacking.

You've Gotta Be Legally Blonde!

It's taken me awhile to go see the newest tween musical phenom Legally Blonde, but it was worth the wait. I must say that after listening to the cast recording on repeat for the past couple of months, I was surprised and delighted by the score as if I were hearing it for the first time.

Credit is to be given to Jerry Mitchell the Tony award winning choreographer for his turn wearing the double hat as Choreographer/Director for this rousing non-stop production. I enjoy Mitchell as a choreographer, and his directing kept the action fast paced. I can see how if the show had another director it could have been bogged down, but the constant action and singing made it highly enjoyable.

The sets were minimal, and at times I wanted to see big flashy set pieces, but the lack of sets was intentional for the amount of dancing that was incorporated into the show.

Laura Bell Bundy has arrived as Elle Woods, the part made famous by Reese Witherspoon in the film version. I had seen Bundy in the original cast of Hairspray, and enjoyed her as mean girl Amber Von Tussle, but feel that her role as Elle has cemented her as a bonafide star. Bundy is charming as Elle, and her great comic timing make her perfect for the role. Bell has stated in interviews regarding landing the part, "I knew that I was right for this part, and if I didn't get it, I should give up acting." Truer words were never spoken. Bundy is perfect for this part. She delivers all her lines with a sweetness and determination that make us grow to respect her portrayal of Elle, and her singing voice shows a range that I never realized about the young actor. Her belt is amazing, something that before now she has not been able to show off. Her dancing is also spot on. The best example is during the high power number "What You Want" which manages too incorporate a marching band and cheerleaders. Who would have thought that it would have worked as well as it did.

Andy Karl was on for Emmit the night I saw the production, and normally I am slightly disappointed when someone whom I had been looking forward to seeing(Christian Borle) is out of the show, I was surprised by Andy Karl's portrayal of Emmit. Which was different than I was expecting. I have read so much about the new Emmit being less sexy than he was intended to be in the movie, and more of an everyman. Karl did a good job of emphasizing the everyman aspect of him, but the sexiness thing he needed to tone down a little. Karl who usually plays the UPS guy was charming. His voice was a little weak for the songs, and he cracked several times. But we all can't be perfect every night(right Idina Menzel at theTony Awards).

Can we please get something out of the way before I go any further in this review? Michael Rupert as Professor Callahan, yikes. There is something so odd about his voice. It seems as though it's from a different era. I was so irked by him the whole time that I wanted to run up on stage and push him off and let an understudy go on so my ears would stop bleeding. His character is lifeless, and his song was uninspired. Overall I think they could have worked more on the character and written him a different song.

Orfeh, won me over. I have never really been a fan of hers, but her Paulette was hysterical and her belt was out of control. Having only heard her sing before I was not a fan, but now I see why her Tony nomination happened. She brought something new to the role, she played it less clueless than Jennifer Coolidge did in the film, she was just a loud annoying woman who happened to have a heart of gold.

Richard H. Blake perennial bad guy was great as Warner, Elle's ex boyfriend whom she follows to Harvard Law, in the hopes of winning him back. Poor guy is always cast as the villain, oh well, at least it keeps him working, and he gets some of the best moments in the show.

Kate Shindel Miss America 1998 shines as Vivienne Kensington, the evil fiance of Warner who at the end of the musical has a change of heart and belts the crap out of "Legally Blonde Remix" Though the sudden loathing to loving of Elle by Vivienne is rather shocking and kind of absurd, Shindel shines. I expect to see more from her in the future.

The three Delta Nu sisters played masterfully by Tracey Jai Edwards, Asmeret Ghebremichael, and Annaleigh Ashford, were fun and added some spunk to the ensemble. Ms. Ashford was by far the best of the three, and also the only remaining of the three sisters who originated their roles. She makes the phrase true that there are no small parts, because she rocked every number she was in. I will most definitely be seeing her in Wicked(a show I promised that I wouldn't revisit, but for her I would).

The best aspect of the show though had to be the dogs. Chico in the role of Bruiser was so adorable that I got distracted from the opening number. And Chloe as Rufus, pure brilliance. I never knew I would be so taken by a pair of dogs.


Overall I would have to say that this production was great. It had it's weak points, but the strengths fully made up for it. Jerry Mitchell showed that he was more than capable to direct and choreograph a show, and I look forward to seeing what he has in store for us in the future. Laura Bell Bundy and Orfeh were standouts and proved to us that Blondes really do have more fun. I highly recommend this show, especially to people who have daughters.

How Underground Are You?

So take one blog, plus one person bored at work, shake well, and what do you get? Stumbling upon a blurb about The Undergroundzero Festival. Which took place 7/30/07 at the Collective Unconscious theater at 279 Church Street. The "festival" consisted of three puppet scenes. One scene was actually scenes from the upcoming New York Musical Theater Festival production of Die Hard: The Puppet Musical. While the other two were scenes in and of themselves, "Words, Words, Words" and "Puppet Kafka."

Let's start with "Words, Words, Words" a scene by David Ives, about three chimps that are placed into a room to write Hamlet. The scene was very clever, but the one drawback was that you couldn't see the puppets because they were so small, and the stage was no conducive to having small objects placed upon it. I was straining to see above the people in the theater, and I am tall. It was really not a pleasant viewing experience. But overall it was the best scene of the night. The puppeteers were a bit distracting though because of the fact that they were using minuscule puppets and they dwarfed them. An ineffective tool, considering the aspects of the theater. The director/performer of this scene stated that it was a scene in a book of collected works by Mister Ives. But I was too distracted rubbing my sore neck that I didn't catch what the title of the book was.

Next up, "Puppet Kafka," this vignette, was too esoteric for the general viewing audience. Unless they have a knowledge of Kafka and his works, they were left perplexed and confused. "Puppet Kafka" intertwined his work "The Metamorphosis" and the story of the author's life. Again it was difficult to see because of the angle of the stage. I think that if they found their audience with this piece it would have been more effective. Plus they need to perform it on a different stage, the space itself was nice, but they need to rework the way the seats were placed.

The next offering was scenes from Die Hard: The Puppet Musical. It has potential, but they need to rework the songs, and perhaps cast people who could sing and those who could work puppets. There was one song that was sung by one of the terrorists, that needs to be cut. It didn't make sense, and ruined the pacing of the show. I think I may go see the full production, but we'll see. Because I think as a whole it has a lot of positive things going for it. There is a resurgence of movies from the 80's being taken and made into musicals with camp value, and I think this could be one. We'll see what the future holds for this little musical.

Some negative aspects of this show, it seemed all very thrown together very fast. Very odd. I wonder if this was thrown together in a week. It ran very much like a middle school scene night for drama class. But then again it was at an experimental theater in TriBeca.

Guilty of Being Terrible

Guilty, a new drama by playwright Nancy Manocherian playing it's final performance at The Acorn Theater in the Theater Row complex on 42nd between 9th and 10th July 28th, is a mess. Not not a mess in the traditional sense, but a mess in terms of writing, acting, plot, pacing, and general storytelling, okay so maybe it is a mess in the traditional sense. My bad

This play has a hard time deciding what the main plot is. Sitting in the audience watching it seemed to me like it was trying to tell too many stories in the short intermissionless time of the production. I was so confused by the time the story reached it's climax that I didn't know whether to fake it or not(wink).

From what I can gather from the loose bits of string that I pulled together to right myself, the story is about a not seen character, who's white collar crimes have provoked his group of friends, to think about their own lives in retrospect, and examine the things that they have done in their past.

The only solid thing about this show was some of the performances. Gloria Gallo delivers what is possibly the best performance of the show. Her portrayal of a woman who is unhappy in her current life, and thinks about having an affair with a former boyfriend, brings a human aspect to the character of Dori. There is a scene where she has an orgasm on stage. An uncomfortable moment I am sure for any actor, but one in which Gallo tackles with composure. It was by far the highlight of the play. And a scene from what I have learned was mostly improvised.

Another one of the highlights was Tracee Chimo, as the rebellious daughter of another stand out Mary Ann Conk as Marcie. Both characters were not flushed out enough to be main characters, but their performances make you wish they would come onstage more often to cancel out the drudgery of the other performers. To my shock one of the weakest cast members Darnell Williams actually won a daytime Emmy.

I always feel like I should say something positive when I write a review. So I will. The set was amazing, the chairs they had were simple and brilliant. The understated minimalist sets were supposed to convey the somberness of the play itself. This tool was quite effective. Overall probably the most enjoyable aspect of the production was the set design.

All and all this play was not really worth much. And needed too much work to receive an actual commercial production. Maybe after some serious retooling, this play could have a life outside of an experimental production.

The More You Know Won't Hurt You

Complied below is a list of things that I have learned in my many years a theater goer. Many people do not know how to behave respectfully when attending, so you know enjoy . . .

The Golden Rule: Be polite and do not sing along no matter how many times you have seen the show, singing includes humming, and mouthing the words to the songs in musicals. It's distracting to the other paying members of the audience, there are some shows where you can sing along and it's okay, like Mamma Mia, I am sure no one will care if you sing along to this piece of crap, in fact outsing the people on stage!

Candy Rule: I know you may be hungry, but for the love of god, open your candy before you get into the theater, better yet, don't bring in any at all. There's nothing worse than the sound of crinkling wrappers. I was at a performance of Howard Katz, and some person was opening up what sounded like a bag of chips during the performance, it was annoying and the whole audience shushed them, I hope they can feel shame.

Know The Show You're Seeing: I know that some of you may be tourists. But at least ask someone at the TKTS booth what the show was about. And a lot of times there is a handy little synopsis in the Playbill/Program. They are useful, look into it! I was at a performance of the Touring production of Little Shop of Horrors, and much to my surprise, a lot of people were shocked when the plant stared talking. There was a gasp that swept through the audience. Really? Really? If you shelled out money for the tickets, you should know what you're getting into.

Don't Talk: Please for the love of God, don't talk during a performance. Talk about distracting. When the curtain goes up, your mouth goes closed. I know you may think you're funnier than the playwright or the actors on stage, but they don't come into your job and talk over your presentation do they? Well some might, but unless you're onstage, you shouldn't be talking.

Pay Attention: Most of the questions that you have will be revealed later in the show. Don't ask constatly what is happening or who that person is. All will be divulged sooner or later, unless it's The Times They Are A-Changin' then you're probably in the majority when you are wondering what is going on.

Applaud in Moderation: It's apropo to applaud after the songs in musicals, but don't overdo it. You end up looking like a special-ed student. I promise. I've seen it. Oh and sometimes it's okay to applaud when a certain performer comes onstage for the first time. And if you liked it, at the end you can stand up and clap, and you know do whatever you want. But don't think it's required to stand-up. Do what feels best for you.

Silence Your Cell Phone: Distracting as hell. And whatever you do, don't answer your phone. Turn it off when you get into the theater.

Walking Out: If for some reason you can't handle the show anymore, wait until intermission to leave the theater, it won't kill you to stay for an hour and a half, before you leave, I mean if it sucks, leave, but don't show disrespect by leaving during a song or in the middle of a scene. This goes for everyone no matter how old you are!

I am sure there are more things, feel free to add some, and you know we'll figure out a better list.

They Call It Xanadu

I must say of all the shows I have seen on Broadway that have been adapted from previous source material, mainly movies, I never thought in my life I would see quite possibly the worst movie ever made turned into a successful stage show.

Xanadu is the story of Clio/Kira(Kerry Butler) a muse who is sent to earth to inspire a young man Sonny(Cheyenne Jackson) to create art, and what else would you create if you were living in the 80's a time of roller skates and at the tail end of the disco movement? A Roller Disco of course!

The play and the movie only have one thing in common, the score. The book which was wonderfully redone by Douglas Carter Beane(Broadway's The Little Dog Laughed), is full of theater jokes and stabs at the original screenplay. The best one of these stabs is to explain where the Australian accent that Clio/Kira uses when she comes down to earth. So as to disguise herself from the mortals. This explanation also works to explain why she wears leg warmers and roller skates.

Of course since this is a musical comedy, we need to have antagonists, enter Clio's sisters Calliope and Melpomene, brilliantly played by Jackie Hoffman and Mary Testa respectively. Who out of jealously try to halt their sister's plans to inspire art, set a curse upon their sister to make her fall in love with Sonny. I don't want to ruin what happens in the end, because I want to give you all some incentive to go see it.

The score by ELO's Jeff Lynne and John Farrar is full of the catchy melodic hooks that made the original songs top 40 hits. Brilliantly sung by the cast and staged by director Christopher Ashley and choreographer Dan Knechtges. The numbers actually make sense in this version unlike in their movie counterpart. And if they don't which some of them do not, it doesn't effect the musical like some others where songs are just placed in for no reason.

There were amazing things in the musical, the book for one, was a series of jokes, that worked to tell the loose story. The score was amazing, seeing these songs sung live as opposed to listening to them on the original soundtrack made the musical more of a concert experience ala Mamma Mia, as opposed to a traditional book musical.


The cast was seamless, I have trouble envisioning Sonny being played by anyone other than Jackson. His portrayal of the character as a dopey stoner with no clue of his surroundings made the musical more enjoyable. Granted I have not see James Carpinello in the role, but I cannot really see anyone else but Mister Jackson playing Sonny.

Kerry Butler in the role she helped to originate in workshop readings of the production, but replaced in the pre-broadway workshops by 3o Rock star and Tony Winner for her work in Nine Jane Krakowski, is brilliant as Clio/Kira. Her comic timing is impeccable! Her strong and powerful belt suits this role. The best from Butler comes when she imitates Olivia Newton John's breathy Soprano in the classic songs "Suddenly" and "Suspended In Time" the latter in which she sings upon Pegasus! Truly inspired! If she doesn't at least get a Tony Nomination(she should have gotten one for her work as Penny in Hairspray), there is seriously something wrong with the Tony voters!

Jackie Hoffman and Mary Testa as the sisters are a riot. They shout out one liners and witty repartee some of which seems to be improvised, but a lot of it thrown in by Beane. One of the best numbers in the show is the ELO classic "Evil Woman" while not included in the original movie, is blended seamlessly into the score. Testa seems at ease with the writing delivering one of the best lines in the show.


Clio: You mean to tell me that you believe my sister's placed a curse on you to make you fall in love with me, but you don't believe that I am a muse from Ancient Greece.
Sonny: Well that one has a sort of Witchie-Poo look about her.
Melpomene: Well I try to keep the look simple and let my personality shine through.

Brilliant writing and brilliant performances make this new musical a must see. I know I will be going back, next time I will be sitting on stage.