The More You Know Won't Hurt You

Complied below is a list of things that I have learned in my many years a theater goer. Many people do not know how to behave respectfully when attending, so you know enjoy . . .

The Golden Rule: Be polite and do not sing along no matter how many times you have seen the show, singing includes humming, and mouthing the words to the songs in musicals. It's distracting to the other paying members of the audience, there are some shows where you can sing along and it's okay, like Mamma Mia, I am sure no one will care if you sing along to this piece of crap, in fact outsing the people on stage!

Candy Rule: I know you may be hungry, but for the love of god, open your candy before you get into the theater, better yet, don't bring in any at all. There's nothing worse than the sound of crinkling wrappers. I was at a performance of Howard Katz, and some person was opening up what sounded like a bag of chips during the performance, it was annoying and the whole audience shushed them, I hope they can feel shame.

Know The Show You're Seeing: I know that some of you may be tourists. But at least ask someone at the TKTS booth what the show was about. And a lot of times there is a handy little synopsis in the Playbill/Program. They are useful, look into it! I was at a performance of the Touring production of Little Shop of Horrors, and much to my surprise, a lot of people were shocked when the plant stared talking. There was a gasp that swept through the audience. Really? Really? If you shelled out money for the tickets, you should know what you're getting into.

Don't Talk: Please for the love of God, don't talk during a performance. Talk about distracting. When the curtain goes up, your mouth goes closed. I know you may think you're funnier than the playwright or the actors on stage, but they don't come into your job and talk over your presentation do they? Well some might, but unless you're onstage, you shouldn't be talking.

Pay Attention: Most of the questions that you have will be revealed later in the show. Don't ask constatly what is happening or who that person is. All will be divulged sooner or later, unless it's The Times They Are A-Changin' then you're probably in the majority when you are wondering what is going on.

Applaud in Moderation: It's apropo to applaud after the songs in musicals, but don't overdo it. You end up looking like a special-ed student. I promise. I've seen it. Oh and sometimes it's okay to applaud when a certain performer comes onstage for the first time. And if you liked it, at the end you can stand up and clap, and you know do whatever you want. But don't think it's required to stand-up. Do what feels best for you.

Silence Your Cell Phone: Distracting as hell. And whatever you do, don't answer your phone. Turn it off when you get into the theater.

Walking Out: If for some reason you can't handle the show anymore, wait until intermission to leave the theater, it won't kill you to stay for an hour and a half, before you leave, I mean if it sucks, leave, but don't show disrespect by leaving during a song or in the middle of a scene. This goes for everyone no matter how old you are!

I am sure there are more things, feel free to add some, and you know we'll figure out a better list.